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Writer's pictureEbiere Bolu

Feeling Unloved as a Child!

I haven’t yet met a parent who doesn’t love their child and yet I’ve spoken to many parents who grew up feeling unloved by one or both parents. This leaves a lot of unanswered questions about what love truly means in parenting.


There seems to be a gap between the intention to love (by the parent) and the way love is expressed to the child, but love is more about our repeated actions than our intentions. 


How it all started


Our first idea of love starts with how we were loved as children and yet, what we experienced might not match what love truly is. 


If we don't recognise this gap, we will keep showing love to our own children in the same way we were loved without realising there could be a better way. 


In a nutshell, We teach our children how to love by how We love them!


What is Love?


What children need is unconditional love - this sets them up for resilience, self-worth, and a secure foundation to navigate life's ups and downs.


When a child is loved unconditionally, they develop a strong sense of belonging, feel accepted for who they are, and grow with a deep understanding of empathy and compassion.


The Problem


As both a parent and a parent coach, I’ve noticed a particular area of parenting in which we repeatedly show conditional love to our children - Discipline


It's in these moments of correction and guidance that our love can feel solely contingent upon behaviour, impacting our child's perception of love.


A Solution


So what we need as parents, is a clear understanding of both Love & Discipline. 


For this month only you can get my teaching on “How to Strengthen the Bond with your Child” for FREE when you buy the Discipline Course currently only £9.99 (50% OFF)



Family holding a child with the words 'Discipline with Love' over the top

Love produces Discipline; There’s no Discipline with Love; Love & Discipline ALWAYS produce positive results; Both Love & Discipline are commonly misunderstood in parenting.


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