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The Problem with Sibling Labelling and Comparison

Updated: May 15


younger sibling playing the guitar for older sibling both appear happy

Growing up, I found myself constantly compared to my sibling, who effortlessly embodied perfection. While they were hailed as the "golden child," I was unfairly branded the "No 1 destroyer." Sadly, this scenario isn't uncommon in many families, where one child is unfairly labelled as 'naughty' or 'difficult,' while their achievements and efforts are overshadowed by a sibling's perceived superiority.


This dynamic often leads to a destructive cycle. The labelled child, desperate for recognition and validation, may act out in ways that further exacerbate the situation, leaving them feeling misunderstood and unloved. In my own experience, I sought refuge in academic success, striving for perfection to prove my worth. However, this only reinforced the contrasting labels between my 'angelic' persona at school and my 'troublesome' reputation at home, perpetuating feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.


But the burden of perfection doesn't solely fall on the labelled child. Often, the 'golden child' bears the weight of excessive expectations, suffocated by the pressure to maintain an ideal facade. Struggling with perfectionism, they may become overly critical of others and battle with anxiety, fearing exposure for who they truly are.


Reflecting on my own experiences and witnessing similar patterns in other families, I've come to realise the damaging impact of sibling labelling and comparisons. It's a cycle that's challenging to break and can have long-lasting effects on a child's self-esteem and identity. No matter what achievements are made, the labels continue to linger, casting a shadow over their sense of self-worth.


But there is hope.


By fostering individuality and understanding within sibling dynamics, we can rewrite the narrative and create a supportive environment where each child is valued for their unique qualities. It's about recognising and celebrating the strengths of each child, rather than pitting them against each other in an endless competition for validation.


If you find yourself resonating with this story, I encourage you to explore "No More Sibling Rivalry," a webinar that offers insights and strategies for nurturing healthy sibling relationships.


Together, let's break free from the constraints of sibling labelling and comparisons, and create a space where every child can thrive on their own path, free from unfair expectations and judgments.



  • No More Shouting

  • No More Homework Hassle &

  • No More Tantrums

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