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Is Fear Shaping How You Parent?

Parenting from a place of fear is very common; whether it is the fear of what might happen in the future or fear of what happened in the past. 

We might think that our choices come from loving our kids, but it's often fear driving us. This doesn't mean we don't love our children, but our fear inadvertently ends up shaping our decisions more than love does.

For instance, our fear of our child ‘not turning out right’, could cause us to be too strict, intolerant and inflexible. Fear of ‘what others will say’, may stop us from speaking up or just being there for our children when they need us. 

Fear of what society expects, causes us to push our children in directions that are contrary to their authentic selves. Fear of failure causes us to over-protect, which impacts their resilience. 

Our fear of them getting/feeling hurt stops them from taking risks and could prevent them from reaching their full potential. Fear of a harsh world causes us to focus on ‘toughening’ our children up by being hard on them. 

The list goes on…

We need to recognise that our fear usually comes from our own childhood experiences, and so we end up repeating patterns that we know we need to break.

The opposite of fear is Love. Love is the only thing that counters fear and produces the outcomes that we actually want for our children. When we parent from a place of true love, it never fails. 

So the question to ask ourselves is not “Do I love my child?” BUT, “What am I afraid of?” 

Because that thing you fear, if not dealt with, will guide your decisions and produce unloving reactions from you to your child. And even though we love our children, they end up feeling unloved when we parent from a place of fear!

If you would like to understand fear shaping how you parent, how it's impact your child and what to do about it, book a FREE clarity call with me.

a happy family together overlaid with a caption 'Discipline with Love'
Discipline with love

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