I call discipline the make or break factor in parenting. Hence the question: Are you making or breaking your child with how you discipline them?
Do you know if your discipline methods are good for your child? Are you sure of the long term implications of your discipline methods? Are you willing to take the risk of finding out later that your methods were actually inappropriate for your child?
I find that a lot of parents are confused as to what the appropriate methods of disciplining children are. They don't know if their methods will yield good results in the long run and in a lot of case, assume that it would be beneficial.
The purpose of discipline is not to punish your child, BUT to guide, teach, model, support, help and empower your child to become all they can be. Some parents are sadly convinced that their methods are working even though it is clear that they are only working for the parent, not the child.
The aim of discipline is to guide the child to live authentically within healthy boundaries. When our boundaries are not respected as children we change ourselves and this lack of authenticity we develop affects our ability to live happily. This is something I experienced in my own life.
Discipline should empower the child to stay true themselves as they pursue their purpose. Discipline should not change who the child is, discipline should not demean the child and make them wish they were someone else.
Discipline done wrong causes the child to react with more wrong behaviours, such as: lying, aggression, anxiety, hyperactivity, distraction, and the people pleasing I wrote about last week.
Discipline done wrong lowers the self esteem of the child which in turn results in a lack of self love.
Discipline done wrong is usually at the heart of issues we see in adults, the trauma responses, the lack of boundaries with self and others, the inability to follow through decisions, and so on…
Discipline is supposed to be positive, and is necessary for a child, but unfortunately is also the most misunderstood aspect of parenting.
Being too harsh or too lax in our discipline yields unwanted results in the child. Hence my opening statement that discipline is the make or break ingredient in parenting. Getting it right is crucial to the healthy development of your child!
Time to learn and unlearn how to discipline children!
Watch our FREE webinar to understand the factors that affect your child’s behaviour. You can also find out more about our Discipling Module to learn effective discipline strategies for your child and how to set healthy boundaries for them.
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